Hello, my name is Rob. I am a recovered addict of amphetamine & I am currently 13 years clean this year. This is my blog post for a charity that has given me more that I could ever repay, Men Behaving Dadly in Oldham. Alongside OPAG (Oldham Play Action Group), they are collectively a group of the most amazing people I have ever had the fortune to meet in my 45 years on this planet.

So here is my story of how becoming a Dad & attending MBD helped me to turn my life around.

Let me start from the beginning. I have always had an addictive personality. That addictive personality of mine started off mild but became far worse in 2011 after the loss of my two boys & my late partner of 9 years, Michelle. What started as smoking cannabis with my friends, spiralled into hard drugs to deal with my traumas, past & present. This even resulted in putting drugs before my eldest son, Adam. Something he has forgiven me for but I will never do the same, but I digress.

It wasn’t all doom & gloom, however. As that time lead me to meet the greatest, most selfless lady I have ever known, my partner & mother of my only daughter, Pixie. She gave me the strength to face my trauma & to see the positive things in life. This was the start of my real journey into becoming a person who I am today. The man who feels fulfilled with life & wants to do more for others.

So you may be wondering what the catalyst was for getting clean & improving my life. The answer to that is a simple one, my daughter Serah.

I have massive amounts of guilt for putting drugs before my eldest son, Adam. Then, after losing my partner and two sons, I went from a man with everything, to a man with nothing. So, after I had given up the drugs with the exception of weed & I had only just seemed to physically recover from the addiction, the very thought of having another child was terrifying.

Pixie showed faith in my ability, though. She believed in me & reinforced that belief with comments like “I have seen what you are like with Adam, you would do anything for that lad so I cannot think of anyone better to have a child with”. I still had my doubts though. She was right about one thing though. If I can give up amphetamine, I can give up cannabis too.

As the months counted down to the inevitable due date, my worries increased. My sole focus – Be the best partner I could be to Pixie. Be at every appointment. Reassure her when she felt worn out, and in her words ‘fat & ugly’ that she was beautiful. Told her that I will always be there. Show her that, even though it may be her first child, I knew what to expect & I would be there to help.

Before I knew it, Pixie was in labour. My own personal “pregnant ghost” because she didn’t shout. She didn’t scream. She simply said “OOOOOOooooooo” every few minutes until…Serah was born. It is true that when you take your baby home, your life gets turned upside down, but for me this was now the 4^th time I had experienced it. So, I had no problems taking over the responsibility whilst Pixie recuperated.

For the next 4 years, I relished in watching Serah grow. Pixie was eager to get back to work & so, I became a stay at home Dad. So what did I learn up until this point? Life is hard, yes, but it is also worth it. As the days, months & years passed, my addiction started to fade away. The way that my daughter looked at me was literally everything to me. There was only one thing missing. I no longer had any friends. Everyone I knew were either drug takers that I cut all ties with or had moved out of Oldham. So, I had no one, other that my immediate family. My Mum & Dad are in Portsmouth & my brother is in Blackpool. For all intents & purposes, outside of my little family, I was alone.

“There was that group I went to once with Jake, though!” I had thought.

I told Pixie “I think it’s called Men Behaving Dadly”

“Have a look on FaceBook” She replied.

So I did.

I found the FB Page with a number, so I gave it a call. I spoke to a wonderfully friendly young lady called Rachel. I had no idea I would grow to know this lady very well over the next 5-6 years but I have. Rachel runs the group & would become the focal point for interactions in the future. The brilliant woman to which every Dad is thankful for.

Now let me preface this experience by saying that, although Pixie went out to work, she only worked part time so we weren’t rich. So when I attended MBD & we were able to have a coffee, snacks & take all the crafts home at the end, it was a massive help to us financially. Nothing to buy, just a small donation I was happy to pay.

On day 1, a fellow Dad approached me, ironically with the same name, Rob. He was attending with his son Oliver. He was friendly, inviting & knowledgable about the group. He made me feel very welcome. As the weeks passed by, our fridge door became decorated with art & I strengthened my friendships formed there. I was, & still am, welcomed every week with a coffee & a smile. Then came the day trips. I had no idea day trips were part of the group. I had already had issues saving enough money to go on trips anywhere other than Blackpool but thanks to MBD, Serah was able to have experiences that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. Making amazing memories along the way.

Since attending MBD, I have also met countless other fathers from all walks of life & learned about their stories. 2 Dads in particular, have become friends outside of the group & they have become an important part of mine & Serah’s life. John, a man whose mental strength & openess has astounded more than anyone I have ever met & Mick, the man that is like a veritable Alladin’s Cave of knowledge & is always selflessly goes out of his way to help. The very kind of person I want to be. Both with a brilliant sense of humour & lightning fast wit that keeps me smiling. They are just 2 of the MANY fantastic Dads that frequently attend the group. Every one of which, has my complete & utter respect.

The relationships I have made within the group & the friendships that Serah has formed, make each session a highlight of our week.

So this is me! The man who lost everything & then built his life back up with the help of some of the greatest people I have ever met in my life. People who have the same morale compass as me – Be kind to others & help our kids to be the best that they can be.

The thing that I have learnt it that when you are on your own, things are way more difficult. With the support of others, things are a lot easier. People like to throw around comments like “I’m a lone wolf, me!” but they are doing themselves a disservice. If you are in Oldham, I challenge anyone to come to MBD with their kid(s) & not want to come back. None of us are here for ourselves, we are here for our kids, we are here for each other. Suffice to say, there is always going to be a special place in my heart for Bill (The founder), Rachel, MBD & OPAG.

At the end of the day, that’s what it all comes down to — being kind, showing up, & helping our kids become the best versions of themselves. Life has a way of testing you, but it also has a way of surprising you when you least expect it. I went from losing everything to finding a family in Men Behaving Dadly — people who reminded me that even after all the darkness, there’s still light (& usually a good brew waiting at the end of it lol). I might never be able to repay what this group has given me. When all said & done it’s about showing up, learning, & laughing along the way. I owe them more than I could ever repay, but I’ll keep trying anyway.

Written by Rob 10/10/2025